milieva | A little mistake = A whole lot of headaches

I messed up with my medication last week. I somehow took my morning tablets one evening, rather than taking the evening tablets, meaning I didn't have all the correct medication on Saturday morning, as I didn't want to mess up the hormone tablet that is labeled with the days of the week. But that still means my hormones are hella messed up this week.

One lousy day of missing a single tiny tablet after accidentally doubling up a day or two before and I am feeling awful.

I hurt. I'm on some very strong pain medication, and I still hurt. It's frustrating. (I'm pretty high on the surgery list when the non-essential stuff opens back up at the hospital, so we'll get some of that sorted in the next few months, hopefully.)

And the way it messes up my brain chemistry is awful, especially when I'm already not in the best mental space thanks to the current situation. I had one of the worse downward spirals yesterday that I have had in a while. It's scary to be inside my head sometimes.

I don't know what to do to keep myself from doing that again. It's not the first time I've done it. It happens when I'm distracted and tired and forget that it's not 7 AM but 7 PM and yes, those are all tablets I take, but not at this time. I just automatically count to make sure everything is there, and either there are six in the morning or two at night. And if it is either of those numbers I just automatically take them.

I've been managing to do some writing the past few days. Most of it is just bits of nonsense for Guru to HouseHusband. I keep flailing random future scenes into 4theWords every so often. And then I try my best to focus on getting more of the bit I am trying to focus on finished. I'm getting so close, but it's so hard to keep any concentration on anything. Double that when my body and brain are conspiring against me.